I guess that everybody has days where they re-evaluate the path they’ve found themselves on in life, and ask if it’s really where they want to be going.
I’ve been doing that a lot lately. Right now, I’m studying Law in my second year at University. The first year was hard, but I liked it. This year is quickly turning into a nightmare. I knew from about halfway through last year that I’m not going to even attempt a career in Law. There’s no way I can wake up every day and go into a job to do this kind of thing, despite how much potential there is to earn a lot of money. And nearly every day I find myself sitting in the middle of a pile of work thinking, ‘this isn’t for me’. I know I can do it if I put the work in, this isn’t a case of being lazy. It’s a case of not wanting to spend the next two years doing something that I really don’t want to do.
The thing is, I have no back-up plan at this point. I want to get off this course so much, but I don’t have the confidence to do that without something to fall back on. I don’t want to end up working in bb’s for the rest of my life, or doing some other kind of similar mundane job. I think I’d be happy if I could find an internship somewhere in a field I would really like to work in. Maybe music, or television. Like everyone else, I’ve got dreams that I want to achieve someday. And being on this Law course isn’t going to take me anywhere near them.
I know that if I stick with this, I’m going to come out with a bad degree and no idea where to go next. But at the same time, I don’t know where I’d go or what I’d do now. Everyone around me, all of my friends, know exactly what they want to do with their lives. Most have plans of how to get there. Me? Who knows. I just wish someone could help me, knowing what I want to do and telling me how to get there. It’s difficult.
I don’t know what to do.