Excuses, excuses…

You know where you wake up at 7am, roll over and stare out into the cold abyss that is the exterior of your bed cover, knowing you have to be somewhere in an hour? I often find that the easiest solution to that problem is simply not to go. Sleep for an extra half hour. Be a little late. There’s always an excuse you can come up with. But, for those of you who aren’t so hot with the excuses you can dish out when you arrive 20 minutes late for your brother’s wedding, or get to the airport just as they close your flight check-in, here’s a list to help you out that I’ve found all around my various social networks!

  • My SatNav took revenge for all the times I shouted at it, and took me to Edinburgh.
  • I was feeding the homeless.
  • I was visiting the oldies.
  • I died for a minute, but it’s all okay now.
  • I dropped my phone in the toilet and I had to mourn it.
  • I got a papercut and was fearing for my life.
  • I was running dangerously low on loo-roll and had to nip to the shops.
  • My house burnt down.
  • The Mayans told me the world was going to end, so I didn’t set an alarm.
  • I can see dead people… and it’s distracting.
  • I’m just really, really early for next time.
  • In this day and age, we shouldn’t need labels like ‘late’.
  • My dad thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates.
  • There was a freak yachting accident.
  • Someone set fire to my workplace.
  • My legs fell off and I had to roll all the way to A&E.
  • I spent my entire night writing fanfiction.
  • Sarah Palin and I got into a twitter war and I couldn’t leave and let her win.
  • My father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago, do you expect me to get over that overnight?!
  • My sim was having an emotional breakdown and I had to be there for her.
  • I was sticking it to the man.
  • I was fighting Al’Qaeda.
  • My meth lab burnt down.
  • It was a nice day, so I walked leisurely.
  • I had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth.
  • I had to stop, collaborate and listen.
  • I got caught in a flashmob.
  • I accidentally squeezed all my toothpaste out of the tube and had to spend ages putting it back in.
  • I didn’t choose the late life, the late life chose me.
  • I had to save my fish from drowning.
  • My future self came back in time and tried to stop me coming here.
  • I was too busy reading posts on trispage.wordpress.com 😉

So there you go. Next time you need to explain why you’re late, look no further!

You. Are. Welcome.


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