It seems that today was destined not to be a great day for me.
Before you think “great, more teenage whiny bullshit I don’t care about”, don’t worry. This is different. I’m not a teenager anymore.
I woke up the same as any other exam day. Out of bed at 6:30, shower, dressed, breakfast, standard. All was going well up until this point, apart from a blocked nose and the slightly less-than-perfect vision that comes as a side effect of being tired. Things only really started going down hill when I got to the station and was 20p short of my train fare. I mean, god forbid they should let me off 20p. Luckily, after a reasonable amount of persuading and a few empty promises of “I’ll give it to you tomorrow”, they let me get a ticket.
The train was late, as expected. They’ve been fine these last few days, but then I haven’t had any exams these last few days. The day I need it to be on time, and it’s late. I end up sitting next to possibly the smelliest person on the planet – remember the scared-of-soap-and-water twins from my Hollister interview entry? It could well have been one of them – who proceeds to shut the window on the train and raise his arms above his head, wafting the smell over. Sometimes I think people should have an allowed out in public license, similar to a driving license. They can pass their test by not blowing smoke in your face, washing occasionally, and not dressing as a seventeen year old hooker when they’re a 57 year old woman.
I met my friend Elysa at the station at the other end, which put me in a good mood. She’s about as worried for the exam as I am, which calmed me down a little bit. I was well aware of that little “you’re going to fail” voice in the back of my head, even agreeing with it slightly considering the amount of revision I’d done the night before. (Not enough). We arrived and waited outside with a few other people on my course, each of us discussing how we’d see one another in summer for the re-sits before the exam even began. That was when the migraine kicked in.
Yes, out of every ailment I could have been suffering before an exam which required reading tiny words out of a statute book, I picked a migraine. When it was finally time to turn open the exam paper, my vision was blurred to the extent where I had to squint to see what was written on the page infront of me. Writing this was going to be a nightmare.
You always hear stories of how people turn over an exam paper and think, “I don’t know any of this.” You always think they’re over-emphasising, that they must know at least something. They’ve been studying it all year, after all. But today I realised that this isn’t always the case. Sometimes, you literally do know nothing about the question that is written on the paper sitting before you. I must have read the questions four times, hoping it would jog something in my memory, but nothing happened. In the end, I wrote about six pages of absolute guess work and bullshit. Let’s hope the lecturer thinks it sounds intelligent enough for a pass.
I left twenty minutes early in the end. It’s bad enough being the first to leave an exam when you think you’ve done well, but walking out early when you know you’ve just failed is devastating. I was followed closely by a stranger and two friends who both seemed to have found it as difficult as I did, though they’re both legal geniuses so I’m sure they’ll do fine.
A long train ride back, a grocery shop and two hours of TV cooking shows later, and here I am now. Sitting on my bed, writing on my blog, instead of at me desk revising for my last exam on Thursday. Maybe this is where I went wrong with Consumer law today. We’ll never know.
Sian, Stacey and Amy – three of my housemates – left today as well. They’re travelling Europe for three weeks, first stop Paris tonight. So at least some of us get to have fun. In the meantime, I’m stuck here with the other one, but that’s a story for a different blog. There’s only so much bitching a person can handle in one entry.